To Feel Again
by ChickNicky
Summary: Nicole Carter is an American witch who just arrived at Hogwarts after the untimely and tragic death of her parents. She is void of all emotions and expects nothing but to go through the stages of her now empty life. This is her struggle to feel again.
1. Chapter 1

There was something in the wind that day: Something Nicole Carter could feel down to her core. As she stood surveying the unfamiliar grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with the wind whipping through her long blond hair, she sensed something.

This was not at all unusual for Nicole, as she had somewhat of a gift (if you considered it to be one) of knowing when something was going to happen. Her gift was not so finely tuned that you could call her a Seer, however, it was tuned enough to have never let her down. She had first noticed her gift around the age of five. She began to get a strange feeling in the pit of stomach before something would happen to her, good or bad. The feeling would come before a pop quiz was announced, or before her parents planned a big vacation to Hawaii. It slowly developed into different types of feelings for her and as she grew older she could distinguish the feelings: good, and she would feel a light flutter deep inside of herself; bad, and she would get a nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Today as she viewed this foreign land and the school she would now call home, she was entirely confused and somewhat frightened, for never in her life had she sensed the feeling she had now: a combination of joy and foreboding. What could this mean? Although her feeling was unexplainable, she lifted her head in the strong wind and began her walk toward the large oak doors that were the entrance to her new life.

Nicole's life had taken a giant turn just six short months ago. At that time she was in America attending the Wimbley School for Magic. Her life seemed perfect to her and everyone around her. She was eternally smiling and laughing, and was never mean or hurtful to people less fortunate or different than her. She took it upon herself to seek out friends that were not considered the usual type of friends a pretty blond-haired blue-eyed girl would choose. She was beautiful, so much so that even the 'in crowd' did not dare to cross her. Most people who chose the friends Nicole did would be made fun of and tortured, but there was something about this girl that everyone liked. Most considered her the girl next door.

It was in her third period Great American Wizards class that everything changed. Half way through her exam the feeling came fast and strong. It was one she had never experienced before, and she was scared. There was no time for her to think about her fears though for at that very instant the principal of Wimbley stepped into her classroom and went directly for the teacher's desk. The whispers between teacher and principal could not hide the tone of alarm in the conversation. It was when the two men turned and looked directly at Nicole did she know that something awful had happened.

She was pulled from class and whisked away to the principal's office. It was there she was informed that her parents had perished in an automobile accident. The shock from the news was more than she could handle. From that moment on Nicole stopped smiling, she stopped laughing. She never cried or showed any emotion to her principal, or any adult for that matter, who tried to console her in the months that followed. She finished her fifth year at Wimbley in a void.

It was the end of May and all Nicole had expected to do was stay at her grandmother's house and wait for the next school year to start. She had been going so emotionless for so long that it was quite a shock when she felt a small flutter from inside her. Not caring one way or the other what it might be she simply waited. Around thirty minutes later her grandmother entered her bedroom and sat at the foot of the bed.

"Hello darling, are you feeling alright? I wanted to tell you something."

Nicole simply stared with emotionless eyes as her grandmother continued.

"I … I want you to know I love you…and want only the best for you. It's just that…well… I am afraid I cannot give you the care you deserve... and I…"

Nicole felt panic gripping in her throat "What?! What are you saying? Gramma you can't care for me?! What's going on?!"

What was going on? The feeling she had, not thirty minutes earlier was a good one not a bad one, now for all she knew her grandmother was about to ship her off to some orphanage.

Her grandmother quickly quieted her granddaughter.

"Please, Nicole, listen to me. Your aunt and uncle have offered you a place at their home in London. You know how they love you. It will, I believe, be good for all of you."

Nicole's initial shock was beginning to melt away to her ever so familiar void.

"My…my aunt and uncle? Why I … I.."

It seemed as if for a second Nicole was about to open up to her grandmother, a small glint of a tear could be seen forming in the corner of her eye, but just as quickly as she opened up, she closed again.

"Whatever is easier on you. I understand."

Her grandmother saddened. "Now, now sweetheart, it's not like that. It isn't about convenience…its just that…I'm older now, and can't keep up with your studies and such. I also think that perhaps Aunt Addie can help you…well…cope with your parents de…"

Nicole sat straight up. "Yes, yes fine, alright that's fine, just please don't talk about it. I am very happy with your decision, Gramma." She didn't smile. "It will be best for all of us, just like you said, now please may I be alone?"

Her grandmother was reluctant to leave her after this decision had been made so rapidly, but she respected her wishes and let her be.

The summer quickly passed as arrangements were made for Nicole to move overseas. She learned that she would be attending Hogwarts and though she didn't show it, the idea of attending the best school in Europe excited her. Trying to forget about a tragedy in your life was difficult, and she did the only thing she could to do: just that. She threw herself into her studies. Her fifth year marks had been the highest in her class, and the opportunity to expand her education at Hogwarts excited her.

The somewhat chaotic move to London was stressful and instead of arriving at Hogwarts on the first day of school, her aunt and uncle decided to let Nicole adjust to her surroundings and held off her arrival by one month. As she walked up the pathway to enter her new school, she was thinking how much more difficult and awkward her month long delay would make her adjustment process.

As she reached out for the iron handle, the doors opened by magic and let her pass. Nicole glanced down at a folded piece of parchment in her hand 'Please proceed to the headmaster's office on the …' She knew the rest by heart. She looked around and couldn't help but notice how completely different Hogwarts was from Wimbley. Hogwarts definitely had more history: it was much older. In a way she liked it, yet at the same time she felt scared and shy. It was easy to hide those emotions though, just like everything else she was feeling. So she bottled them up and proceeded to meet her new principal…er…headmaster, she would have to remember that.

Standing before a giant stone gargoyle and saying the word 'fiddlesticks' felt odd to Nicole. The goal at Wimbley was to behave like Muggles to almost every extent, except of course the materials that were taught, like Charms. There was no such thing as talking to gargoyles and things of that nature. _Ah well_, she thought, _something I will have to get used to_. The gargoyle rotated to reveal rotating stairs. She stepped onto the first stair and began her ascent as her mind traveled back to the last time she was in an office at school. Before she could think anymore on it, a voice from behind a wooden door could be heard saying, "You may enter."

A stern looking older man with a long white beard and hair was sitting behind a large oak desk. "Ahhh, Ms. Carter…so happy to have you here at last, I trust your carriage ride was pleasant? Please take a seat." Nicole did as she was told without a word and the man continued. "I am Albus Dumbledore. While you are here at Hogwarts my door is open at any time, for any matter. I'm sorry to rush our little meeting, but I have an urgent matter to attend. I'm afraid you missed the first transfer student Sorting ceremony, so you will have to wait a week or so to be sorted. In the meantime, you will reside in the neutral dormitory. Your things have been taken there for you. You will find it to be quite peaceful, as you will have no other students residing with you. If you should find anything you need, you may consult the Head Girl, Hermione Granger." With this Dumbledore stood up and walked around his desk toward Nicole. He handed her a package. "These are the school rules, passwords you will need, a map of the grounds and the school, and your schedule. Now if you will excuse me."

Nicole was unsure of what to say as she was exiting Dumbledore's office "Thank you, Mr. Dumbledore."

Even with the map of the school Nicole was having quite the difficult time finding her way to her dorm. She had already been searching for a full hour when a voice from behind her called out "You there! What do you think you are doing? Classes started fifteen minutes ago."

She was so caught off guard that she dropped her package of parchment and they scattered around her. Before bending down to pick them up she turned around to face the voice that startled her. For just a split second her stomach hurt, and then it turned to fluttering. _Oh what IS going on with me?!_ she thought to herself. She was looking at a tall boy walking toward her in a brisk manner with a stern look on his face. He was very pale with almost white hair and her first impression was not a good one as he came storming up to her.

"Oy! Pick those up and go to class. Where are your robes? What house are you in? I will be docking points!"

Nicole never stood for bullying at her old home and this instance was no different. "Excuse me, but I haven't been sorted into a house yet," she said calmly as she bent down to pick up the papers, expecting help from the boy. "Aren't you going to help me?" she exclaimed.

The boy snickered "Me?! Help you? Have you lost your mind?" Nicole let out a huff of irritation as he stood there with his arms folded, watching her pick up the parchment. He noticed her accent and instantly became curious about her. _I could offer to help_, he thought to himself. _No, why would I do that? She must be the new transfer student Dumbledore told me about…she is quite beautiful…no stop that…what are you thinking Malfoy? Quick, say something harsh_. "Well hurry up then!" he snapped at her.

Nicole was horrified. "How dare you treat someone you don't even know in such a manner," she said, raising her voice. "I have done nothing to upset you…I don't even know you!" She picked up her remaining parchment and stormed off.

"Hey!" Malfoy called after her "You don't speak to me that way! I'm Head Boy!" His warning was ignored by Nicole as she stormed off as quickly as she could.

The run in with the white-haired boy had Nicole's blood boiling. She hadn't felt anger like that since before her parent's death. _I shouldn't have lost my temper_, she thought to herself. _If I can hold in sadness there is no reason I can't hold in anger. _

She eventually found the Neutral common room with the help of a third year girl skipping class. As she entered the portrait she immediately began exploring her new surroundings. There were four comfortable chairs arranged in a semicircle around a huge fireplace. Each had a different color: maroon, blue, yellow, and green. A few desks and tables were littered here and there around the room, and two staircases labeled 'Boys' Dormitory' and 'Girls' Dormitory'. She headed up the girls' staircase and found a single room at the top. It was the most beautiful room she had ever seen: there were high vaulted ceilings, a four poster bed again with the four colors of the chairs in the common room for each post, her own vanity, an armoire, and a desk. Six months ago she would have giggled and flung herself onto the bed. However, today she simply went over to the desk and set down her now untidy package of parchment. She found had her own bathroom with a good-sized tub for relaxing. _Such a shame,_ she thought, _that I will only have this room for a week_. If it were up to Nicole, she would remain in the secluded room all year.

While Nicole was still in the bathroom, she could hear a voice calling from downstairs. "Hello? Is anyone here?" Nicole made her way downstairs to find a pretty brown-haired girl wearing a black robe with a maroon and gold patch with a lion on it. "Hello! I'm Hermione Granger, I'm the Head Girl this year and I've come to welcome you. Sorry you are all by yourself up here, it will only be for a short while though."

Nicole shook her head in polite protest "No, no it's perfectly fine, and I like to be alone anyway."

Hermione smiled at Nicole and pressed on. "Well, that's good then. I'm going down to the Great Hall for lunch, do you want to join me?"

As much as Nicole enjoyed the peace and quiet of the Neutral common room, she was quite hungry. "Yes, sure, thank you."

She followed Hermione down to the Great Hall, which took a good twenty minutes. The whole way Hermione chatted about rules and regulations. Nicole didn't get one word in by the time they reached the Great Hall. Hermione paused and looked at the four tables. "Oh dear, I didn't think of where you would sit. Oh why don't you just sit with the Gryffindors for now?"

Nicole nodded in reply and followed Hermione. As the two girls were passing the yellow table (Nicole didn't know the house names yet), she noticed the white-haired boy bullying a small boy seated at the end of the table. The white-haired boy looked up as she passed and noticed her right away. For an instant their eyes met. There was no mistaking the feeling of Nicole's stomach fluttering now_. Is this boy connected to the something good that will happen?_ Nicole thought. Just as she was about to smile for the first time in months the boy's expression turned to smugness and he looked away as he scoffed at her. _If he _does_ have something to do with it…I don't want anything to do with him,_ she told herself.

Nicole was introduced to Hermione's friends Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. They seemed very nice and Nicole enjoyed their conversation very much. She was just about to explain Wimbley's school customs when her stomach took a lurch. _Oh no_, she thought, _not again…not here_. She noticed the faces of Hermione, Harry, and Ron looking above her head with looks of disgust. Nicole turned around and inhaled a quick breath as she noticed the white-haired boy was standing right behind her.

"May I help you?" she said as she stood up to meet his gaze.

"I just thought I would come over and introduce myself to you," he said in a smug voice. "I see you have started mixing with the wrong sort already. Perhaps I can assist you. I am Draco Malfoy, Head Boy, and a Slytherin. You would do well to remember that, girl."

Nicole scoffed and moved in closer to the boy "My name isn't 'girl'. It's Nicole, and I make it a point to not remember things of annoyance."

His face turned slightly pink as he leaned in to Nicole, closing the gap between their bodies. "Watch your tongue, little Nicky, or I might jinx it right out of that pretty little mouth of yours."

Nicole was ready to make a quick-witted comeback but Malfoy's steely grey eyes were staring right into her deep blue eyes with barely a millimeter between their noses. She sensed the tension between the two of them. She wanted to slap him…hard. Just as she brought her hand up to inflict pain on his cheek a hand gripped her wrist and tugged it down hard to her side.

"Ah, ah, ah, Ms. Carter…wouldn't want to do that on your first day, now would we?" The greasy haired man standing near her was clearly a professor, and Nicole could sense she was in trouble.

Hermione interjected "Professor Snape, Malfoy was instigating her, sir."

"That's enough Ms. Granger! There is no excuse for violence against a Head Boy. Ms. Carter has no house points to be taken away and therefore will perform a detention with me tonight at six o' clock sharp. Is that understood, Ms. Carter?"

Nicole was still upset from Malfoy but knew not to smart mouth a teacher and so she responded "Yes sir, six o' clock, sir."

"Very good, continue with your lunches then." He stalked out of the Great Hall.

Nicole hadn't noticed the hand that gripped her wrist was not Professor Snape's, but Malfoy's, and he wasn't letting go. "That should teach you to disrespect me. Watch your step, Carter, don't want to get a nasty little reputation here at Hogwarts, now do you?" With that comment Malfoy released her wrist and walked away. Nicole stared at the back of his white hair wishing anything but tickles and roses for him. Wherever that good feeling came from…it wasn't him. Nicole didn't know much about her new school, but she did know that she hated Draco Malfoy.


	2. Chapter 2

Nicole sat back down feeling angry; it felt good. She hadn't experienced an emotion like that in months, and she liked it. Reveling in the moment, she failed to notice Harry calling her name.

"Nicole? Nicole?"

She snapped out of it and instantly felt embarrassed. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to lose it, I just…I don't know what came over me." She exchanged sympathetic glances from all three of her new friends.

"Don't think on it, Nicole" Ron exclaimed. "There's not one of us at this whole table who hasn't wanted to slap Draco Malfoy."

Everyone expected Nicole to join in with the smiles and laughs of the group, but she simply let a small noise escape her voice that sounded like a half laugh. "Well," she said, "I suppose I should start looking for my next class; it's going to take me an hour to find it."

Harry and Ron made a quick move to stand up as they both started talking at the same time, "I can show you the way…I mean…you…we…"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Oh, for goodness' sake! I can show her to her next class, you idiots." Ron and Harry exchanged embarrassed smiles and excused themselves from the table.

Hermione turned to Nicole as they left for their classes. "How silly, eh? You put those two around one gorgeous girl and they can hardly function."

Nicole stopped walking and looked at Hermione with a quizzical look. "You…you think I'm that pretty?"

"Of course you are! Have you looked at yourself? You've got gorgeous eyes! Amazing hair! And your lips...HA...Pansy would pay 1,000 Galleons for those lips. Don't be surprised if half the boys at Hogwarts come calling to your dorm by six tonight."

Nicole's expression turned to gloom "Six... I have a detention with that professor. I am not looking forward to that."

Hermione put her arm around Nicole's shoulder. "Just think of it this way: you are getting it out of the way early. Once you have a detention with Snape…you will train yourself to NEVER get one again."

----

The rest of the day went by rather quickly. Nicole's classes, she found to her excitement, were very similar to her classes back at Wimbley. She had already learned most of the charms and various other things back in her fifth year. To her extreme excitement, so far she hadn't shared a single exchange with that Malfoy boy since lunch. However, she did think about him all day throughout her studies. _What is it about him? I can't stand him but at the same time he intrigues me. Well, you just admire him from a distance,_ she told herself,_ he is the wrong sort of wizard, that's for sure._

As Nicole was leaving her last class of the day, Harry walked up beside her. "How was your day, then?"

Nicole turned to him as she walked to the Great Hall for dinner; she thought he was a very cute boy. "It was fine, thank you, how was yours?"

Harry smirked. "It was great! Me and Ron convinced two first years their Herbology class was in the forbidden forest, and we also put dungbombs in Lavender Brown's bag."

Nicole frowned. _Maybe__ he isn't as cute as I thought._ "That wasn't very nice of you, Harry."

Her mood had changed, and Harry could tell she did not like the fact that he was picking on first years and Lavender. Nicole decided she didn't feel like hearing Ron and Harry's stories of mischief at dinner so she quickly came up with an excuse. "Hey, I know I said I would eat dinner with you guys tonight…but I'm pretty tired after today and I think I am going to take a nap before my detention. See you around." With that she quickly walked away from Harry, leaving him rather confused.

----

"Where's Nicole?" Hermione asked as Harry sat down to dinner.

"Well…I think I upset her."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You didn't ask her out already, did you?!"

Harry turned red. "Of course not! Anyway, why would I ask her out?" he asked without looking Hermione and Ron in the eyes. "I barely know her. No, everything seemed grand, and then I told her about a couple pranks Ron and I pulled today and she kind of…shut off."

Ron looked up mid-bite into his mashed potatoes. "Oh great, Harry! Why did you have to go and pull me into it!?"

Hermione rolled her eyes again "Oh, for crying out loud, if you two don't get your heads out of the clouds and realize every girl that walks through this door is not a dish on a buffet for you to pick up, I will put a Stinking Jinx on your robes that will make your noses fall off."

Harry quickly responded, "I'm not trying to pick her up, Hermione! I was just talking to her. She seems sad and I thought I would give her a laugh. I haven't seen her smile once today. I was just trying to help."

"Well, just stop trying, Harry," Hermione said in a calm voice. "Dumbledore explained to me her situation."

Ron and Harry both leaned in and asked in unison, "What situation?"

Hermione followed their lead and leaned in to begin the whispering. "Well…she comes from the top magic school in America, she had an amazing reputation, very sweet, and VERY smart, top marks in all her classes. She was the Student Body President of her year, kind of like Head Girl here, except not for the whole school, and she was part of the intellectual group, not the popular crowd. She seemed destined for great things and then… her parents died in an automobile accident."

"She stayed at school and finished her fifth year, but she alienated herself. She started eating lunch by herself, and stopped hanging out with her friends. Her aunt and uncle had her move to England with them and she transferred to Hogwarts. The worst part of it is that, like you mentioned Harry, she stopped smiling. She hasn't once smiled since it happened, or laughed. Dumbledore said not to push her into anything, but to just befriend her. He seems to think she and I will become quick friends and I rather agree. Anyway, it's all very tragic isn't it? Poor girl."

Hermione went back to her dinner as Harry and Ron sat in silence. It was Harry who spoke first. "Maybe I should talk to her about what happened? I lost my mum and dad. She might find it useful to speak to someone about what happened."

Hermione dropped her fork with a clang "Don't you dare, Harry Potter! You leave that girl be; when she is ready to talk about it, she will. I understand you only want to help her, but let's all take Dumbledore's advice and just be her friend right now. She seems like a great girl. I'm sure she will be sorted into Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, and either way I really like her. I think she will be just fine here. I'm going to the library now. Promise me you two won't confront her."

Harry and Ron nodded in silent agreement as Hermione left for the library. "You think Hermione fancies her?" Ron remarked with a laugh.

Harry smiled at Ron, but he didn't quite catch the comment he had made. Harry was too busy thinking about Nicole. _There is something about her, something I am going to discover._ Harry wasn't one to trouble himself with girls, but it surprised him how much this person he had only met a few hours ago affected him. _Hermione's right_, he told himself, _get your head out of the clouds and leave her be_. But Harry knew he wouldn't be able to stay away long. There was definitely something about that girl.

----

Nicole had been thinking about Harry's escapades earlier in the day as she made her way to Professor Snape's classroom. _He seems like such a nice boy, I wonder why he does things like that. Picking on innocent first years. Ah well…maybe he just had an off day or something, maybe I will give him a second chance_. Not at all eager to enter into her detention, Nicole took her time walking to Snape's classroom and even with her slow pace though she arrived five minutes early. She entered and found the room deserted. "Hello?" she whispered. "Is anyone here? I have detent…."

The familiar voice of Professor Snape came from behind her along with the sound of a door slamming. "I am aware why you are here, Ms. Carter. Take your seat at once so we may begin."

Nicole moved quietly and quickly to the nearest desk which held a blank piece of parchment, an ink well, and a quill. She sat awaiting her instructions.

Professor Snape moved to the front of the classroom and took his seat at his desk. For a long while he just stared at Nicole, right into her eyes. Nicole stared back at her professor and wondered if this was perhaps his method of torture. _If he wants to just look at me all night, I haven't got a problem with it. This will be the easiest detention of my life, _she thought.

After what seemed a good ten minutes he finally spoke, "You will take the parchment in front of you and compose an apology letter to Mr. Malfoy. In it you will state the reasons you are so obviously plagued by guilt at the thought of wanting to strike him. When you have finished I will read the letter, and if it is to my liking, I will have you deliver it to Mr. Malfoy tonight. You are of neutral house at this moment, I presume? So you will be allowed to enter into the Slytherin dorm."

Nicole's eyes widened with shock and disappointment. _I cannot believe this,_ she thought, _of all the things…a letter of apology?! Hand delivered by me?! This is going to be the hardest detention of my life!_

Nicole stared down at the parchment; she brought the quill to the surface with a look of pure confusion and began:

_Dear Malfoy…no scratch that … just… Malfoy,_

_It has come to my attention that my behavior this afternoon was against the policy of Hogwarts. However much I despise and loath the very air that escapes your lungs, it is not proper to strike a human being (if you can be considered one), let alone a Head Boy, and I stress _BOY_. Your actions today of pure and blatant disrespect towards me, a person you have never met before today might I add, were completely and totally uncalled for and without warrant. I will be expecting your own apology letter within a week's time. Had it not been for Professor Snape's instruction to write you this meaningless apology, you can bet I would be doing anything but writing it. As it stands at this moment in time, I wish for you to never, and I repeat _NEVER_ attempt to have any form whatsoever of communication with me in the future. I am perfectly content to spend the remainder of my time at this school without the words 'Draco' or 'Malfoy' ever escaping my lips again. _

_My sincerest apologies, _

_Nicole Carter._

She knew Professor Snape would return the letter and make her rewrite it. At this point and time though, she did not care. She wanted the world to know how she felt about this boy. She wanted the world to know that even though she didn't want to, she was still capable of conveying emotion. Professor Snape, she thought, was a good start. With fire in her eyes she stood up from her desk and walked towards Snape. She slammed the letter down with fury and returned to her seat where she sat with her arms folded and her gaze staring right into the eyes of the surprised professor.

"Finished so soon?" Snape asked her. "Not a promising start." His eyes left Nicole's and skimmed down the parchment. Nicole could have been mistaken, but she thought she saw a smirk flash across his face in mid-letter.

"Come here." Snape said in a reprimanding tone. "Take this rubbish," Nicole took the parchment and headed back to her desk, "and present it to Mr. Malfoy."

Nicole whipped around on the spot. "What? You want me to take THIS to Malfoy?"

Snape rolled his eyes and sighed. "Are you deaf? Did you not hear me? Go to the Slytherin common room, here are the directions." Snape waved his wand and another piece of parchment appeared in Nicole's hands. "And present the letter to Mr. Malfoy. I will know if you disobey me. Now leave." Knowing when to take her queue Nicole quickly exited the classroom and headed off to the evil that was the Slytherin common room.

----

Her temper was still a fiery blaze, and she could feel her confidence coming from deep within. She composed herself as she reached the Slytherin common room entrance. "Destruction," she said a bit more forcefuly then she had intended, the stone wall that concealed the common room slid open with a grinding sound as she stepped through the wall.

Instantly she felt the gloom of Slytherin common room. Every eye turned to her; there must have been thirty people in there. It was unmistakable; this was the house she heard so many dark wizards came from. Silence filled the room until an older girl spoke to Nicole. "Have you been sorted, then?"

Nicole turned to face the girl and prayed her voice would come out strong again. "No, I haven't, I am here to deliver something to Malfoy."

The room instantly buzzed with multiple whispers between people. The same girl who had addressed her before pointed to a staircase. "He's up there… but he won't let you in."

Nicole offered a polite thank you and started toward the staircase with her chin held high. She could feel the eyes of the Slytherins on her back as she reached the first step. She didn't turn around: instead she headed up the stairs, holding her breath until she was out of view from the crowd.

She leaned up against the stone wall and exhaled quietly. _This is insane, _she thought, _I could be murdered in here and no one would know_. She took a deep breath and continued up the stairs until she reached a room on the right labeled 'Head Boy'. "This must be it," she said aloud as she knocked. There was no answer; even after repeated knocking no sound could be heard coming from the room. _Oh great, just great, all this work for nothing…I'm just going to leave it here…no I can't…someone will find it and it will shoot around the school like wild fire. What to do? Well, he isn't here…I can go in and…no! What am I thinking? Go In? Oh what are you afraid of? Go in there leave it on his desk, and then just leave. Yes, that's it…okay…you can do this now … just open the door._

She reached for the doorknob silently pleading for it to be locked. It wasn't. She turned the knob quietly and opened the door slightly. It appeared empty of any life, so she opened the door and crept in. Nicole tiptoed across the room to Malfoy's desk and was placing the letter down when suddenly she heard the door slam. Just as she was turning around and reaching for her wand in her back pocket, she saw a flash of red light.

"_Locomotor Mortis_! _Accio wand_!" Her legs instantly froze on the spot and her wand flew out of her back pocket and into the hand of Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy, release me!" Nicole yelled. "I am here to deliver an apology letter to you, I've been sent by Professor Snape!" Her voice was raised yet calm.

Malfoy expected to hear more fear in it. He pointed his wand to the lock on his door. "_Colloportus_." Malfoy instructed calmly as the lock clicked tight. "Release you? Release you? Why it seems as if I have forgotten the counter curse…oh dear, what to do?" Malfoy strolled across the room toward Nicole. He sat on top of his desk in a dramatic sweeping motion as he pulled the letter out of Nicole's hands. "An apology? Why, how very thoughtful of you," he mocked. "You're making me go all mushy inside…"

Nicole reached for her wand in Malfoy's hand but he snatched it back too quickly. He looked directly into her eyes and felt that unfamiliar feeling again. _Those blue eyes of hers are going to be the end of my tough guy attitude, I just know it,_ he thought to himself. He quickly pulled out of her angry stare."Now, now, Carter, calm down, lets just read this, shall we?"

Malfoy unfolded the letter and began to read. Nicole was nervous; she hadn't expected to be in the room when he read her insults. She expected him to be angry, to lash out at her. She was very wrong, for Malfoy laughed out loud and threw his head back.

"Carter!" he laughed. "I knew I liked you from the first moment I saw your pathetic little self! Such insults, such anger! And all for me?! I'm touched. I could tell you were feisty from our little rendezvous in the Great Hall, but this?! This is priceless."

He continued to laugh as Nicole's expression turned to annoyance "Yeah, that's fine Malfoy, laugh it up. It really doesn't bother me, just release me so we can be done with this."

Malfoy got off of his desk and started to circle her. "Done? Oh no, Carter, we have only begun."

She could feel his eyes burning holes up and down her entire body. He stopped circling her when they came face to face. He moved in to her and pressed his body firmly against hers as he stared deep into her eyes. His laughter had stopped, and his voice took on a serious tone. "You and I, we are alike in many ways. When I first saw you this morning, I felt something." Nicole turned her head but Malfoy raised his hand to her chin and forced her face back to look at him. "Look at me when I speak to you!" he yelled. He regained his composure and continued. "You feel it too, I can see it in your eyes. I know you will fight it; you already do. But you mark my words, Nicole Carter, I will have you. You will be mine."

Nicole could see the fire in his eyes and she could also feel it deep inside her. _No absolutely not, this is not happening_ she denied herself as she saw Malfoy's eyes close and his face come closer to hers. His grip was too strong, she couldn't pull her face away, and he was going to kiss her. With every second that passed Nicole had a choice to make. As their lips met for the first time Nicole felt a flutter inside her with power like never before.

She wanted to give into him; she was feeling this, she wanted to feel this. Something told her to stop though, and before she let that little voice disappear she bit Malfoy's bottom lip…hard. The bite shocked Malfoy and the curse was lifted off of Nicole's legs.

Malfoy put his hand to his now bleeding lip. "You little …" before Malfoy could complete his insult Nicole turned her head and spit. "Don't you ever do anything like that again!"

She grabbed her wand that Malfoy had dropped, and headed for the door. "I don't know what you feel Malfoy, but it's a joke." Pointing her wand at him when she spoke, "Something between us?! I don't even know you! I've only just met you this morning. I feel nothing towards you but hate and disgust! You stay away from me, do you hear? I swear, Malfoy, if you even look at me again I will not hold back."

She left the room and sped down the staircase. As she passed through the crowd of Slytherins she didn't even notice their smug reactions of surprise. All she could think about was how much she hated herself. She hated herself because she didn't let him kiss her, and she hated herself for wanting to be kissed by him... a complete stranger. _Whatever is going on with me and my stupid feelings_, she thought to herself, _is ending right now_.

As she stormed out of the room Malfoy spit out the blood that had pooled in his mouth. He brought his hand up to the bite mark on his bottom lip. He smiled as he slammed his door shut with a flick of his wand. He turned to face his desk and leaned over the apology letter. A drop of blood landed beside her name on the parchment. He stared at it with a fire still burning in his eyes. "I will have you," he said aloud in a sly voice, "mark my words…you will be mine."


End file.
